Video Game Storytelling

...is the game I am now going to talk about.

There’s been an increasingly worrying trend in gaming where ‘triple A’ titles (the multi-million dollar projects from publishers like EA) have started to feel less like games and more like semi-interactive movies. The Metal Gear Solid games are probably the most infamous example of this, but anyone who follows the industry at all will be able to name some more: God of War, Gears of War, War of War (sorry), or the recently-released Asura’s Wrath. The most ‘cinematic’ aspects of these games are almost entirely non-interactive, usually consisting of the player pressing a button combination in order to trigger an impressive but gameplay-free cut scene.

It’s not too hard to see why developers do this. We’ve got so much technology and graphical horsepower now, so why not use it to make your game more like a Hollywood action movie? As many people have pointed out, the main objection is that people who want to see a Hollywood movie will go and see a Hollywood movie. Games don’t need to ape the narrative techniques of adifferent medium, nor should they.

I’d like to hold up Dark Souls as an excellent example of how storytelling in video games can be true to the medium while still being compelling and emotionally satisfying. That might seem like a surprising choice given that Dark Souls is famous for being an unashamedly hardcore hack-and-slash (a genre not known for possessing complex storylines), but bear with me here. Dark Souls would make for a lousy movie or fantasy novel, but as a game, it excels.

Ever since videogames got complex enough to tell a halfway decent story, there’s been a serious problem negotiating the divide between gameplay and storytelling. Broadly speaking, developers have ‘solved’ the problem by relegating storytelling to cutscenes, with gameplay elements going out the window as soon as you lose control of the character. (Which is why they didn’t just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris. She died in a cutscene, where getting impaled or hit with a fireball or shot in the face is more than just a minor inconvenience.) This works up to a certain point: I doubt anyone would argue that Final Fantasy VII’s crude 3D models could have been used to create a dramatic death scene, after all.

But we’ve come a long way since then. We no longer need to have elaborate pre-rendered FMVs to convey a sense of drama in a game. So why do so many games still slap an iron wall between gameplay and story? Why is it so common to have a game’s main character do something in a custscene that they could never do in-game? The implication seems to be that what the player sees on screen is a very elaborate version of tabletop miniatures; yes, you might have seen your character engage in a fairly pedestrian fight using pre-canned attack animations, but here’s what was really going on. You don’t even have to use your imagination, because the developers have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on a flashy cutscene for your benefit!

Enter Dark Souls. It does have cutscenes, but they usually consist of little more than a brief introductory clip for a particularly impressive boss. Most importantly, they’re almost always relegated to the beginning of a big fight. Delivering the final blow to a 30-foot iron golem does not trigger a cutscene in which your character suddenly develops the ability to backflip up a vertical wall in order to accommodate a more spectacular death scene. Better still, there is no cheating when it comes to the fight itself. The golem does not blunder under a series of three identical traps that you drop onto its head in ponderous succession. You fight it the same way you fight every other enemy in the game. There is no awkward layer of abstraction between what the game engine can handle and what the developers ideally wanted you to see. (Note that those impressive cutscenes will almost never show your character finishing off a boss by dropping a chandelier on its head or whatever; in fact, the chandeliers themselves tend to be conspicuously absent once a cutscene starts. The implication seems to be that the whole chandelier business never really happened in the first place, thus negating what the player did in favour of what the player just watched. I probably don’t need to point out why this is a problem.)

Have fun!

Story progression in Dark Souls is handled in a similar way. There’s an entirely optional boss fight that involves killing Gwyndolin, the last living god of the game’s setting and the son of the mythology’s Zeus stand-in. At no point does some random NPC character come up to you with an optional quest: ‘Go against the gods and fight Gwyndolin Y/N?’. You do not access the boss fight by accruing enough points on some arbitrary morality meter. No, you trigger the fight by setting foot in the tomb of Gwyn, who is Gwyndolin’s father – which is exactly his stated reason for then attacking you. Why you did it isn’t important, and the game doesn’t ascribe any motive to your character’s actions. You’ve profaned Gwyn’s tomb, and thus his son is going to kill you. Maybe the player did it because they decided their character would go against the gods, or maybe they did it to get Gwyndolin’s unique armour set. Or, hell, maybe they did it by accident. It doesn’t matter. There is an exact one-to-one relationship between the player’s actions and the game’s story progression.

You can find examples of this kind of design philosophy throughout Dark Souls. Talking to a merchant or trainer and then walking away before your transaction is finished will elicit an irritated comment from them. (You don’t choose ‘Act like a dick’ from a pre-set dialog menu, either; you just walk away.) The player can join ‘Covenants’ with various NPC characters, all of which place certain restrictions on the player’s actions. Attack an NPC member of the same covenant, and the covenant leader will kick you out. Again, what you choose to do in gameplay terms is directly responsible for the progression of that particular subplot.

Now, this kind of thing is obviously only possible in a certain kind of game. Dark Souls features a silent protagonist, which is what makes things like the Gwyndolin fight possible. Since your character has no in-game motive for triggering the fight, the developers are free to have Gwyndolin react only to the player’s direct actions (i.e. deciding to step over the threshold of his father’s tomb). But I would argue that this isn’t really an issue. A blank-slate protagonist is usually a terrible idea in a movie or novel, but Dark Souls is a videogame. In a videogame, a blank-slate protagonist makes perfect sense.

I really wish more developers would focus on making this kind of game rather than enthusiastically following the trend for Nathan Drake/Gears of War/Modern Warfare clones (delete as appropriate depending on genre). At some point, borrowing elements from another medium crosses the line into just recreating that medium from scratch. The end result of that kind of storytelling is the complete negation of videogames as a creative medium. Is that really what we mean when we talk about the gaming industry’s untapped potential?

Surgery Without Anaesthetic, AKA ‘Revising’

Wow, I dropped the ball on updating here. I’m going to blame the fact that I’m embarking on a Higher Diploma course in computing even though that doesn’t start until next week.

So yes, Castor. It certainly is a draft! I’ve been developing a sort of ‘game plan’ for revising it, which goes something like this:

  • Remove all extraneous subplots, scenes and chapters.
  • Reduce the book to its bare essentials.
  • See how that looks. Angst.
  • Sit in front of my computer with my head in my hands for a few hours.
  • Experience sudden burst of enthusiasm and confidence. (I’m going to be completely screwed if this part doesn’t pan out.) Begin reintroducing subplots as long as they fit.
  • Revise, revise, revise.
  • Something about agents, I guess?
  • Retire to mansion made entirely out of advance copies of J.K. Rowling’s new book.

Foolproof.

In all seriousness, I do like the idea of reducing a draft to its base components before carefully building it back up again. Before writing Castor, I tended to roll my eyes at writing advice along the lines of ‘Make sure you can state your primary conflict in a single sentence’. It seemed uncomfortably reductive. I still think my inner snob has a point there (I’m sorry, but I am never going to look at a chapter and think ‘How does this represent both my main character’s needs and his conflicting wants?’), but I’ve started to appreciate that being reductive is very often a good thing – especially when you’re drafting.

What I’m saying is that for my next project I am going to use an outline. I’ve caved. I’m weak. I’m hopping aboard the outline bandwagon. Since it’s too late to do that with Castor, I want to see if I can reverse-engineer the process to a certain extent. It should be fun.

(And whether it is or not, you guys will get to hear all about it. Hurray!)

Milestone, Consider Yourself Reached

At 01.30 this morning, I finished the current draft of Castor.

You are hereby authorised to commence celebrating.

I now have what might reasonably be called ‘a book’. It still needs a lot of work before it’s ready to go on the query-go-round, but it is a book and it is finished.

And now some pertinent fact and statistics, because I am a dork.

I wrote a kind of ‘prototype’ for Castor on 12 December 2010. This was solely for the purpose of the critique group I was in at the time – a sort of ‘proof of concept’, if you will. There are about three sentences of this still present in the ‘real’ Castor. The biggest differences between it and what I have now is that it was in third person and had two narrators.

I started the first proper draft of Castor on 21 February 2011. It starts out roughly the same as what I have now, but then goes off the rails at the 20,000 word mark. (I mean that in every sense of the phrase; it wasn’t turning out particularly good, which is why I scrapped it at 50,000 words and started again.)

I unfortunately don’t know the date I started the latest version of Castor, because I did it on a different computer whose hard drive has since died. It was shortly after I canned the 21 February version, though. It is now 91,230 words long (I’ll be shrinking that pretty hard in the next few weeks).

In total I’ve written about 120,000 words towards this book, not including the sections of February-Castor and current-Castor that overlap.

There are several things I need to do with it immediately to make it coherent, including:

  • Cut out a subplot that appears and then goes nowhere.
  • Cut out another subplot that sort of comes and goes before fizzling out. (I kept telling myself it would be super important for the books’s ending; surprise, it wasn’t.) I might reintroduce this if my beta readers think it’s a good idea.
  • Finish this one scene that just kind of stops because I got stuck on a particular part. Looking at it now, I have no idea what I thought was so intimidating about it.
  • Clarify the themes. I have no idea what this actually entails, but everyone says you should do it. I am going to clarify the shit out of my themes.

That’s all right now. It seems perfectly doable, which is probably a good thing; I’d be worried if the task of revising seemed completely overwhelming already.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to continue enjoying my well-earned day off.

Title Trouble

So I did a blog post a few days ago about titles. You might get the impression from that post that I care an awful lot about what other books are called, and that I must therefore care an awful lot about what my book is called. That’s only half true.

Castor has been called Castor since the day I started working on it. I’m pretty happy with that. Yes, it’s fairly obvious (the planet it’s set on is called Castor, making it a real ‘duh’ title) and not all that interesting, but it sounds good. It’s the kind of title that would make me take notice if I saw it printed along the cover of a book’s spine on a tightly-packed shelf.

And that’s why I do care about titles, in a way, because so often a book’s name and its cover-art can be the deciding factor in whether someone decides to buy it. (Or, since we live in the Internet Age, whether they decide to go on Goodreads and see what the rest of the planet thought of it.) You probably won’t be too surprised to discover that I’m not fond of a lot of YA titles, particularly those of a one-word adjective persuasion. I mean, let’s say you have a dystopian novel where people are sorted into different social classes based on their hair colour. The main character’s primarily conflict involves her uncertainty over whether this sorting process can fairly sort the population such that everybody is happy with the category into which they are sorted. What would you call a book like that? It seems like there’d be an obvious choice…it’s on the tip of my tongue…

I feel like this is particularly common in science fiction, which is one of those genres where your title is expected to give potential readers a pretty clear idea of what the book is about. Isn’t that what the synopsis is for, though? The best titles are almost like miniature works of literature in their own right: think of the delightfully agrammatical-only-not I Am Legend, or something like Flowers for Algernon. In the YA world, I’m particularly fond of Patrick Ness’ titles: The Knife of Never Letting Go is as weird as it is enticing.

These one-word ‘concept’ titles just don’t have the same kind of draw. Oh, it’s about people being sorted, and it’s called Sorted. That’s…um. Which isn’t to say that the whole ‘concept becomes title’ thing can’t work (see A Canticle for Leibowitz), just that you maybe shouldn’t be too obvious about it. I guess you could argue that Castor is too obvious, but it doesn’t feel that way to me. For one thing, the story isn’t this sweeping overview of an entire planet. It’s a very personal story about a character who isn’t in any way exceptional by the standards of the book’s world, which gives the title a kind of ironic grandiosity that I like. (Of course, ‘Castor’ is also the name of a Greek god and a real-life binary star whose existence I will continue to ignore until my dying day.)

What I’m ignoring in all of this is that authors often don’t get to decide what their book will be called. Instances of people being forced to use particular titles are relatively unusual as far as I know, but there are plenty of so-called ‘gatekeepers’ who can and often do veto an author’s first choice. So if you see a book with my name on it called Sorted in 2014 (or, uh, 2015), feel free to come back here and gloat…assuming this post hasn’t mysteriously disappeared, that is.

Contemporary YA Title Syndrome

Since you obsessively refresh my page every hour to see if I’ve updated wordcount-o-meter (no, it’s okay, there’s no shame in admitting it), you must be well aware that I am now racing (inching) with glorious swiftness (agonising lethargy) towards finishing this draft of Castor. In a fit of wild optimism, I even suggested to myself that I could get it done within the next two days. This was before I’d had breakfast, though, and anything I say pre-breakfast should be regarded as the rantings of a crazy man.

Naturally, I’ve been procrastinating. I know, I’m shocked too.

See, I’ve been thinking I should read more contemporary YA. Mostly it’s because a lot of recent genre YA has been…uh, not to my tastes, but also because I sort of skipped contemporary YA when I was a teenager. I was under the ridiculous impression that it was all either mushy hyper-sanitised romantic comedies or hilariously over the top Issues Novels where Someone Dies and also the main character Learns An Important Lesson. Crazy, right?

Looking through lists of contemporary novels on Goodreads, I’ve started to notice an odd trend in the kinds of titles these books tend to get. Other people have already pointed out that a bizarre number of PNR/dystopian YA that follow the ‘one word adjective’ school of titling, but I figure I can still ruin contemporary titles for everyone. (If you don’t believe me about the dystopian title thing, try to guess which of the following one-word titles are real and which I just made up. Answers at the end of the post! 1:Entangled 2:Scored 3:Spellbound 4:Deserted 5:Starcrossed 6:Glitched 7:Matched 8:Enshrined 9:Luminous 10:Warped.)

There are some similar trends in contemporary. Or, hell, maybe they’re not ‘trends’. Maybe this has been going on for decades and I’m only just noticing it. Either way, I’m going to do the blog equivalent of pointing at it while raising my eyebrows suggestively.

Title Category The First: ANGST. METRIC TONNES OF TEENAGE ANGST

(I was going to use actual titles for this, but that’s probably the kind of thing I should stop doing if I don’t want agents to find something horrifying when they Google my name. So instead of real examples, you’re getting cop-out fake examples. Enjoy!)

You probably know what I’m talking about here. These are usually long-ish titles that suggest teenage romance, tragedy (cancer! car crashes! estranged/dead parents! ANGST!) and bittersweet endings. They practically write themselves: What Happened After, The End of Us, Why I Left. (I’m just assuming none of those are real. Please don’t tell me if they are.)

This kind of title walks a pretty fine line. When I was a teenager, I would practically break out in hives at anything that suggested a book might contain teenage relationship BS. See, I already thought teenage relationship BS was a big pile of teenage relationship BS, mostly because I was just that mature I was two years older than most of the people in my class at school and also an asocial git. Yes, I get that teenagers are all jacked up on hormones and everything that happens to them is THE END OF THE WORLD and ugh. Seriously, I get it. Reading about it just never appealed to me when I was that age.

That’s not to say that these titles can’t work, of course. You just have to accept that some assholes are going to draw unfair conclusions about your book based solely on what you decided to call it.

Title Category β: Long and Odd and Kind of Cheesy

These are also really popular among certain general fiction authors. I will never understand why.

These were teenage-Sean’s kryptonite. To be honest, though, I can’t really complain too much about this, since it’s one of those title conventions that exists to tell readers that they’re looking at a certain kind of book; it’s really not the publisher’s fault if you just don’t like that certain kind of book.

For some reason, these books tend to be particularly well-represented in awards shortlists. Maybe the judges only consider titles with a minimum number of independent clauses? Who knows!

Title Category #3: [Verbing] [Girl's Name]

Catching Julia. Saving Private Ryan Gloria Ashfield. Finding Jane.

Once again: all made up, or so I hope. I don’t really have anything to say about this one except to point out that it exists and is kind of hackneyed by now. (There are some interesting variations on it, though. I always thought Like Mandarin was a cool title because it conveys this interesting sense of ambiguity.)

Title Category This-Post-Is-Getting-Too-Long: Rom Com-a-riffic

Light, fluffy, usually plastered across an offensively pastel cover. Like with the ‘quirky’ titles, these ones signal to the reader that they’re holding a particular kind of book. If you don’t like that kind of book, they are definitely Not For You.

And there you have the sum total of my first Contemporary YA research expedition. Next time I might get around to reading some contemporary YA. It’s going to be exciting, I’m sure.

 

(Quiz Answer: They’re all real except for ‘Enshrined’. Several of them were supposed to be fake, but then I checked Goodreads and realised that someone had actually used them. And yes, I am aware that my own book has a one-word title.)

I mean it’s not actually FINISHED, but…

More Things Sean Thinks Would Be Just Great

In no particular order.

NO MORE MYTHOLOGY

When I see this, it makes me think of this:

Author: TrixyOrthodonist

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Hades/Persephone

Warnings: High School AU, OCs

Description: Hades and Persephone are students in high school, what will happen?? Read and review!

I get that greek mythology is kind of The Hot Thing right now, but could we please do something a bit different with it? Most of the ‘retellings’ coming out now are a bit like those Supernatural fanfics that are about Sam and Dean as space pirates trying to steal the Nebula Diamond from a quantum cruise liner. Why is this fanfiction, again? Is it just so the author can have a ridiculously fetishised romance between those two particular dudes rather than a ridiculously fetishised romance between two random dudes they just made up? I don’t understand.

But yeah, less High School AUs where Persephone and Hades are FORBIDDEN LOVERS, more something along the lines of this or possibly this. Although ironically, they both also involve FORBIDDEN LOVERS. And one of them is about Persephone/Hades. I don’t know, maybe I just really hate high schools?

(Incidentally, I don’t get why a lot of people writing space-pirate Supernatural fanfics don’t just ditch the copyrighted characters and try to get their stuff published. I mean, have you seen some of the stuff fanfic writers can come up with? Whoever invented the concept of MPreg honestly deserves to win some sort of award. It makes me despair to think that a mere copy-paste name change is all that’s standing between us and a world where stories about guys getting pregnant could occupy real-life shelf space. Just imagine a future where professional MPreg fiction is regarded in the same light as, say, urban fantasy: scorned by the literati, yes, but enjoyed by millions of avid readers who couldn’t care less what you think about books in which a man may or may not give birth through the back door. Cast off the yoke of trademark, MPreg authors, and sail with me towards the warm sunrise of that glorious future!)

LOTS MORE FANTASY

So I haven’t read Seraphina yet, but it looks like it has a good chance of kicking prodigious amounts of ass. I think what’s attracting me to it is that there’s no obvious pandering going on; at no point does the summary describe anyone as ‘smouldering’, ‘sexy’, ‘irresistible’, or any synonym of ‘hot as all get-out’. It’s just refreshing, is all, and it makes me want to read more YA fantasy.

ALSO MORE THINGS THAT ARE LIKE HOW I LIVE NOW

I’ve gotten kind of sick of the phrase ‘magical realism’, so I’ve replaced it with ‘Things that are like How I Live Now‘. The primary traits of the ‘Things that are like How I Live Now’ genre are as follows:

  • Must be odd.
  • Must be at least somewhat literary and/or experimental.
  • Must include psychic kids who might not be psychic, who knows, and anyway that’s not important.
  • Must be like How I Live Now
I’ll also accept more ‘Things that are like Liar‘.

LESS AUTHOR FILIBUSTERS

This one is pretty self-explanatory. I’d like to suggest that, henceforth, every publishing contract includes the entirety of Phoebe’s Goodreads pledge as its own separate clause. Breaking this clause will result in an immediate $10,000 reduction in future advances and also I get to make fun of you on the front page of The New York Times. (I’m just going to assume the NYT guys would be cool with that.)

(Also this shit has now been noticed by major newspapers, so it might be time to stop.)

MORE STATIONARY STORIES

By ‘stationary stories’ I mean ‘genre stories that do not involve a journey of some description as an integral component of the plot’. It feels like an awful lot of SF/F authors take it as a given that their characters must go on a long trip to McGuffin Town in order for the plot to happen. There’ll be a bit of setup in the ‘home’ location (village/town/city/floating skyscraper in orbit around the moon), and then wham, off we go on an adventure.

That’s all great, but staying in one place (or a few different places) can also be fun! It lets the reader really get to know the novel’s world, and opens up all sorts of great possibilities when it comes to having the main character’s life experiences up until the beginning of the plot impact in a very tangible way on the plot itself. You can’t just run away from a decade-old grudge if your neighbour is the one holding it, can you?

BASICALLY I’D LIKE THE PUBLISHING INDUSTRY TO CATER EXCLUSIVELY TO MY PARTICULAR TASTES

Yeah, that would be pretty great.

What do you want to see more of in 2012? Leave a comment and tell me, regardless of how particular or weird your tastes are. Do you just really, really want more books about people who turn into Welsh Corgies and have humorous misadventures? I’m all ears.

Breaking First Person

Go to any writing forum, and you’ll probably come across at least a few agonised discussions on whether third person is ‘better’ than first person. More often than not, the whole thing will be kicked off by someone asking if third or first person narrative is better for their particular book, but it’s also common enough to see people arguing the respective merits of each in the abstract. There is an unspoken rule governing these discussions, which goes something like this:

  1. Everything of importance worth saying about first vs. third person narration has already been laid out in simple, easy-to-digest writing advice and can be summarised in a series of pro and cons for each.
  2. More experienced writers are duty-bound to regurgitate this advice whenever their less-experienced friends request it.

The second point may or may not be valid.

The first one definitely is not. Here’s why.

If you’ve been writing for any length of time, you’re probably familiar with those little charts that explain the pros and cons of both first and third person. They usually go something along the lines of ‘First person = immediacy/identification with narrator but limited viewpoint, third person = wider viewpoint(s) but limited immediacy/identification’. What most people take away from these things is the idea that each viewpoint choice carries certain automatic benefits, which you must weigh up against its corresponding downsides. Choose first person, so the received wisdom goes, and the reader will identify more easily with your character.

That’s not true. I mean, it’s obviously not true, and I suspect most people know it isn’t true, yet you see the same advice trotted out again and again all over the internet: “Well, if you write it in first-person people will identify more easily with your main character…”

I think this stems from the notion that having a viewpoint which resides firmly in one character’s head must result in the reader having an easier time identifying with that character. I mean, how could it go wrong?

To put it bluntly, it could go wrong if the writer has no idea what they’re doing.

Consider how easy it is to ‘break’ a third person narrative, by which I mean how easy it is to turn a simple stylistic choice into something that could ruin your entire novel. All you have to do is write a third person novel in which the viewpoint sticks rigidly and closely to a single character from beginning to end – boom, you’ve just ruined your novel. (Well, probably. I guess it could still end up being good, but the sheer monotony of having the same close viewpoint chapter-in and chapter-out will probably overshadow its better qualities.)

It’s a little bit harder to explain how you can break first person, even if it is (sadly) no more difficult to do in practice.

Fitst of all, keep in mind what writing in first person means. Every description, thought, action and emotion is being filtered through the mind of your viewpoint character. They’re the ones telling the story, to a degree that goes far beyond even the closest examples of third-person narration. Everything goes through them and is filtered through them. (Although it isn’t filtered through them – note the difference.) In other words, first person is about a hell of a lot more than just writing ‘I’ instead of ‘He’ or ‘She’.

Unfortunately, an awful lot of writers don’t seem to have gotten that particular memo.

I’m going to use Susan Ee’s Angelfall as an example, mostly because it’s self-published and is thus less likely to incite people to come and spray butthurt all over the comments thread. This is from early in the book, when the main character witnesses a bunch of marauding angels doing their thing:

They have different colored wings. The one who smashed into the car has snowy white wings. The giant has wings the color of night. The others are blue, green, burnt orange and tiger-striped.

They’re all shirtless, their muscled forms flexing with every movement. Like their wings, their skin tones vary. The snowy-winged angel that crushed the car has light caramel skin. The night-winged one has skin as pale as an egg. The rest range from gold to dark brown. These angels look like the type to be heavily scarred by battle wounds but instead, have the kind of perfectly unmarred skin prom queens around the country would kill their prom kings for.

There is nothing about this that would look out of place in a third-person novel. You might be tempted to say that the ‘prom queen’ comment sounds like the main character’s voice intruding in a very first-person way into an otherwise entirely descriptive paragraph, but it still wouldn’t need any tweaking at all to work in third-person. It’s also not that specific to the main character.

This wouldn’t be a problem if it was an isolated incident, but the entire novel is written this way. Most of its action scenes would need only a quick find-and-replace to be converted form first to third person. It would even be relatively easy to do this with most of the more introspective scenes – I know, because I was doing it in my head the whole time I was reading it.

The cumulative effect of all this not-first person was that I started to feel less invested in the main character’s plight rather than more so. By some strange alchemy, the text managed to convert the main character into an empty space around which the rest of the novel revolved. And what do you call a novel with a hole in it? You call it…uh, not a very good novel. Yeah.

(I realise that you may may be tempted to object that a novel-hole lets the reader ‘put themselves in the place of the character’, to which I would point out that that’s only a good thing if you’re writing a Choose Your Own Adventure book.)

The problem here is that the book is largely concerned with the external: movement, action, what the main characters sees and hears, what the people around her are doing. That isn’t, generally speaking, the kind of thing that first-person is best used for. It works best when created a sense of the character’s own interior: what they feel, what their internal mental world consists of, how they respond in their own way to what’s going on around them. If you’re primarily interested in the external actions of your characters and the world they inhabit, just go with third person and mix things up with multiple viewpoints. Why multiple viewpoints? Because it can do wonders for a flat character if the reader gets to see them through someone else’s eyes for a while. I would have killed to see the main character of Angelfall from a different viewpoint, if only because her own viewpoint was doing such a terrible job of letting me connect with her.

The other oft-ignored point about first person I want to make is that it immediately poses a question to both reader and writer. That question is ‘How is this being told?’ Is this supposed to be a real document or artefact from the fictional world it describes (see The Handmaid’s Tale for a well-known example of that), or is it literally being narrated to the reader by the main character? Is there, in other words, a tacit agreement between author and reader that the name on the front cover doesn’t matter, and that for however long the book lasts it will be the viewpoint character running the show? Or is the novel supposed to be taken at face value, with the assumption that the reader has gained privileged access to that character’s stream-of-consciousness?

You need to be able to answer that question. You really, really need to be able to answer it, because it determines exactly how much you can experiment with the literary possibilities of first-person. (Which, once again, should be the reason why you’re doing first-person to begin with.) If your novel is being conveyed to the reader in real-time, then you must establish how much time has elapsed since the events being described, if any. You also most likely can’t have the main character go into long passages of self-reflection, at least not if you’re serious about making the whole thing seem like a realistic facsimile of the spoken word. If the novel is being ‘written’ by the main character, then you cannot ever break persona; you can’t have them know things they couldn’t know (although you shouldn’t be doing that anyway), you can’t have them suddenly wax philosophical on the semiotics of the divine if it’s previously been established that they have no formal education, and you can’t blithely skip over major character events that any real person would want to linger on if they were writing their memoirs. You also, once again, have to give the reader some idea of when they’re supposed to be writing, and under what conditions.

Does that all sound completely irrelevant to your novel? Please, write it in third-person.

Are you more interested in action scenes than all of the crap I just talked about? Write in third-person.

Do you really want three or four viewpoint characters, but it’s okay, you can totally distinguish the voices of that many characters without turning the book into a confusing mess? For the love of God, write it in third person. 

Your nitpickier readers will think you for it.

Teaser (2012), Starring Ryan Gosling

I haven’t done one of these here ‘teaser’ things in a while, so here’s one now! It’s from a scene that is hot off the word processor. I think it probably doesn’t suck too badly, but we’ll see how I feel in the morning. Posting one of these is a bit like going out and getting raging drunk and then waking up the next morning and comically screaming ‘WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT?!’ when you realise that all of your worldly possessions have been replaced by unsettling clown marionettes.

Or at least, I imagine that’s what happens when you go out and get raging drunk. I’ve never even been ordinary drunk, so I wouldn’t know.

TEASER:

There were three of them: a half-dressed man who looked like he’d been shot in his bed, a woman in a bathrobe with her head bashed in and another woman in a blood-soaked smock. The last one was a servant by the looks of her, but still dead – still murdered, even though she was ‘one of us’.

They were ugly corpses.

I don’t just mean because of the blood and the bruises, either. It was their expressions that got me. The man’s upper lip was raised into a lazy snarl, so that he was showing us his crackd teeth. His wife’s expression made her look still alive, as though they’d caved in her head during her last rush of fury and outrage over what they were doing. I wanted so much to throw my jacket over her face so she couldn’t look at me.

Vidal bent over double and vomited all over his boots. The woman with the rifle laughed at him.

“Looks like the Full-Adapt lad’s got a weak stomach!” she said.

I hooked my arm into the crook of his elbow and forced him to walk towards the house. “Just don’t look,” I muttered.

UPDATE: Whoops, fixed the boneheaded mistake that I changed in the original document but forgot to change here. Those of you who saw the unedited version, feel free to forever shame me for allowing such unpolished dreck onto the internet.

Medusa Barbie

I’m a writer, which means I’m also ridiculously bad when it comes to procrastination. The two conditions are inextricably linked. Writer, therefore procrastinator, QED.

One of the most effective ways of procrastinating is the Wiki Walk, which involves going to a Wiki page about beetroot pasteurisation (or whatever), suffering a blackout and then coming-to several hours later with 50 tabs open ranging in topic from cauliflower reprocessing to the 19th-century wig manufacturing industry.

Give it a try sometime. Or, you know, don’t, depending on whether you value your sanity.

The most dangerous versions of the Wiki Walk all involve taking unwise treks into Wikis (or other repositories of information) created by the truly obsessive. And by ‘the truly obsessive’, I mean ‘fans’. For example, there is an exhaustively-researched Mario wiki. There is a Metal Gear wiki. There are several Pokémon wikis, each of which is better-organised and contains more information than most academic databases.

Don’t have the slightest bit of interest in Mario? Doesn’t matter. Click that link, check out a few random pages, and I can guarantee that you’ll feel a kind of haunting compulsion to keep going. You will not be able to resist.

I’m particularly prone to this kind of thing. I once came dangerously close to becoming one of those people who can recount the entire history of the Imperium of Man from the Horus Heresy to the 41st century even though I don’t currently play Warhammer 40k, have never played Warhammer 40k, and have no particular interest in ever playing Warhammer 40k.

It’s just that there’s so much of it! I mean, there are three different kinds of Exterminatus. Three! And let’s not get started on the Tyranid Hive Fleets. (Did you know that Hive Fleet Leviathan is the larges to have attacked the galaxy so far? I bet you did not.)

Lately, I’ve been trying to resist the siren song of the crazily-obsessive. It’s not easy. This shit is seriously like heroin. I was tempted jut last night, when Phoebe North tweeted about this.

Look at it. Look at it. It’s a barbie. It’s a ridiculous barbie. And it costs $270.

I knew instantly that there had to be more to this. It was like a hit of some glorious drug; my brain went on overdrive, throwing out a series of questions that were each more intoxicating than the last. Were there more Barbies as crazy as this one? Was $270 a lot, and if so, how much of a lot? What is the ‘holy grail’ of Barbies, and how much would it cost?

Then I read the sole customer review.

Only 4,200 worldwide made, she may even be the new Medusa Barbie in collectablility.

Medusa Barbie? What was this mystical object? Is it particularly collectable? It must be, if this person is comparing it to Space Barbie up there. And they mention it as though everyone reading would know what it is! But is it the most collectable? I had to know.

I wasn’t just standing at the edge of the rabbit-hole here. No, I was bent over with my head stuck in the rabbit hole and a KICK ME sign plastered across my ass. Because this stuff is like crack to me.

"As addictive as crack." - Sean Wills

Just to be clear, I don’t actually care about Barbie dolls. I mean, it’s cool that they made an honest-to-god Medusa Barbie, but it’s not like I’d have the slightest interest in actually buying it. (For one thing, it costs $800.) What fascinates me is the culture that grows up around these things. What are the conventions among members? What are the slang terms, the rookie mistakes, the legendary stories about the one that got away? Who are the big names, and who are the notorious trolls/crazy people who take things just a bit too seriously? What’s the history of all of this?

Medusa Barbie could easily have been my gateway drug into the world of expensive doll collecting. A single wiki page or ‘How to get into doll collecting’ FAQ would have been enough to send me on a Barbie bender the likes of which the world has never seen before.

But I resisted. I resisted. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go do some research on antique booksellers for my WIP and oh god dammit.